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EJ Watches Predator

I can’t remember when exactly when I first started catching snippets of Prey previews across social media. I wasn’t really paying much attention to them, but got the gist the movie was some sort of suspense/action setup with a weird combination of primitive/tribal elements and something futuristic. Figured it might be worth checking out since I’m a Hulu subscriber. Then I started noticing people mentioning Predator (seemingly) out of the blue, and I finally realized Prey was part of that franchise.

It then occurred to me that I’d never actually seen Predator, despite once going through a phase of watching Alien, Terminator, and a selection of other 80s/90s Arnold action flicks. I knew the gist: special forces group of some sort is in the jungle hunting/being hunted by some nasty alien critter that can see in infrared. But since (almost) all the films in the franchise are currently available on Hulu—no doubt due to Prey’s recent release—I figured hey, why not, let’s just have a Predator marathon. So that’s what I’ve spent the past ~week doing. The following is my random commentary (featuring mild spoilers if anyone cares).


Okay listen. There’s something so pure about 80s action movies. They are over-the-top in every possible way. The dialogue is tacky. The music and camera shots are overly-dramatic. The action is trying way too hard. The special effects are hokey, but you kinda have to give that a pass because they did what they could at the time. This movie did not disappoint on any of those fronts.

But I can see how and why it was groundbreaking at the time, combining action with alien sci-fi. There’s not a ton of actual plot, but still enough material to get a decent movie out of (side note: I enjoy that every single one of these movies is less than 2 hours long—it was kind of refreshing). I really liked the Predator’s design; Stan Winston was a master. I was reading up on some of the production details and how they completely redid the creature design fairly late in the filming process. No idea what the original idea would have looked like, but they sure ended up with an iconic design. I also enjoy now understanding the origin of Arnold’s “GET TO THE CHOPPA” line—never actually knew what movie that was from. Oh, and this meme format.

 
 

For as cheesy as parts of the original movie were, this one might have been worse. I mean, the text on the movie poster alone has me rolling. The premise itself was fine, but I found myself rooting for the Predators more often than not simply because all the human characters were so ridiculous (and it wasn’t so much the acting as it was simply the script and screenplay).

My attention span was starting to dwindle toward the end, but when Danny Glover ended up in the trophy room aboard the ship, I was like “Hello xenomorph skull???” I’d forgotten Alien vs. Predator existed, and when I realized it was next in the series, my interest was piqued.


I remember being vaguely aware of this movie when it first came out and having a basic understanding that it pitted the species from two different movie franchises against each other—I’d seen Alien at that point, but obviously hadn’t seen Predator, so it really had no significance for me.

I was a little nervous due to AvP’s low IMDB rating, but it actually didn’t suck as much as I feared it might. It’s silly in its own right, and you’re certainly not looking at any sort of deep, impactful film. It’s popcorn entertainment. It was kind of cool to see all of these familiar elements from the 80s with more modern special effects for the first time. I enjoyed the characters and kept expecting Lance Henriksen to say “Hackett out” after giving everyone else instructions. I thought it also had a lot of Stargate vibes.


So. I decided to go ahead and watch this one simply for continuity’s sake, since AvP ended on more or less of a cliffhanger. But that was about the extent of any continuity it contained. The acting is subpar, there’s a ton of unnecessary interpersonal drama between characters, etc. Not to mention half of it takes place in sewers and shadowy hallways so you literally can’t even see what’s going on.

The only semi-redeeming quality was Reiko Aylesworth, who I enjoyed in 24 back in the day. I appreciated that the other characters were like “Hey, listen to this soldier because she knows what she’s doing and we have to protect her because she’s the only one who can fly a helicopter” instead of the cliched “Who put you in charge?” All in all, this movie is a complete waste of time.


I was kind of excited to get to this one because it had higher ratings than the two Alien spinoffs. It was pretty solid. Still some silliness for sure, and again, popcorn entertainment, but overall not bad. It actually had a little more depth with the whole idea that the human characters themselves were predators in their own ways. Isabelle was driving me insane with her rifle scope though—have fun giving yourself a concussion when the recoil hits, sweetie.

I’ve found I have questions about these movies, but they’re not really questions that even need to be answered given the nature of the story (as much of a story as there is). “Because that’s the way it is” kind of ends up being the all-encompassing explanation for things, which is…fine, I guess. I’m just used to more depth in a story.


This one’s actually not available on Hulu with the rest for some reason. I convinced myself it would be okay to skip it, especially considering its abysmal-though-higher-than-AvP:R IMDB rating. But my fanatical completionist self bit the bullet and forked over a couple of bucks to rent it from Amazon.

I actually ended up enjoying it more than I expected to. There was some silliness for sure, though some of that was due to a good bit of actual humor. The acting was solid, with a good number of well-known actors in prominent roles.

The evolved CGI Predator was pretty disappointing. Like, not only did it just not have the feel of the other practical-effects Predator in the film (which looked fantastic), but it was kind of shoddy CGI for being such a recent movie.


I was pretty excited to finally get to this one, since I’d heard from several people that it was quite decent. It feels somewhat unfair to say I liked it best out of all of them, because I think that’s mostly due to the fact that it’s a modern film and they could do more with special effects, but still. The acting was a little meh, and the CGI animals (bear, wolf, mountain lion) could’ve been better, but overall I thought it was very well done.

And okay but seriously, those special effects? Our friendly neighborhood Predator looked AMAZING in this installment. It was super cool to see that familiar design revisited with modern technology and makeup/costuming (really, it’s been fun seeing the evolution of the same creature design over 35 years of filmmaking). The epic smackdown with the French trappers was such a great sequence, and it was neat to see how the battles played out when both the human characters and the Predator were using more primitive technology than what we’ve seen in the previous movies. I actually think it would be super neat to see a series (whether it be TV or film) kind of along the lines of Assassin’s Creed with Predators visiting Earth during different time periods and squaring off against the warriors from various cultures. Predators vs. Vikings? Predators vs. Spartans? Predators vs. samurai? That would be epic.

Anyway, you really don’t have to have a full Predator marathon beforehand in order to enjoy this movie. Does it help to have a decent grasp of the franchise? Sure. But it’s definitely not required.

Oh, and speaking of Assassin’s Creed, the whole time I was watching this, I was thinking “Wow, I really like the music, and a lot of it is giving me major AC vibes.” Turns out it was scored by Sarah Schachner, who also scored AC: Origins and AC: Valhalla. I win.


Anyway, I’m glad I can now say I’ve seen all of these movies, even if a couple of them were more or less a waste of time. Aside from vague knowledge of AvP’s existence (which I of course forgot about in the intervening years), I’m not sure if I ever even realized there was more than one Predator movie. It will be interesting to see if the franchise continues in any way.